WTF?

*current music: Not Tonight by Tegan and Sara*

I've spent the day not feeling well. Im not quite sure if it's because I've been working for 8 or 9 days straight and im having "first day off blahs" or because I have a shitty sleeping schedule and my eating habits suck and it's wearing me down but either way it sucks.  So, i spent the day alternating between dozing in and out of sleep and watching the L word with my dog. 

One thing is for sure, I still miss her. It doesn't matter if I'm awake or asleep, listening to music, reading or watching sad sappy lesbian tv, everything makes me think about her and how much i want, if not need, to see her again. She's been the one person in my life that no matter how long it's been since I've seen her, i always wonder how she's doing, what she'd say if she could see what's goin'  on with me ect.  It's been over seven months now since I've seen her, since we kissed for the first time standing outside my old house, and i had to pull away and go in so i didn't pass out.  I can't get her off my mind and that leaves my heart ripped wide open and exposed which is something I am not used to and I'm not too comfortable with how that feels...